Fucking idiot goddamn clients. “Can we shrink all the beds but keep all the plants?” Yes, if you want it to look like shit. “Ok, then let’s do it.” FUCK. And of course I ran by to pre-mark today because I need to be 45 minutes away when the job starts. So now I have to go there FIRST and sit in even WORSE traffic to get to what was supposed to be stop #1.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckshitshitshitshitfuckfuckfuck


This guy is video blogging for Scotts Miracle Gro. I love the look in his eyes that seems to say “I regret EVERYTHING about having sold my soul to these corporate pricks.”

This guy is video blogging for Scotts Miracle Gro. I love the look in his eyes that seems to say “I regret EVERYTHING about having sold my soul to these corporate pricks.”


If you call yourself a “landscape designer” and you hand this shit off to a homeowner, I’mma slap your mouse right out of your hand.


THE GODDAMNED DRIVEWAY APRON IS FLOATING!!! How do you not notice that? Is your company’s tagline “fuck it, good enough”?


#andfuckyourspiralbushes1992calledtheywanttheirtackyback


I came across this gem in a forum for landscape architects:
"As Landscape Architects, we are faced with the task of designing an expression, or a feeling, or an idea, using the landscape as our medium. Whether we are to revamp a parking lot, design a corporate courtyard, line a downtown street with an allee, or beautify our own front and back yards, we are expressing a narrative. In fear of sounding too esoteric, I find it hard believe I could ever initiate a design without thinking about it first in terms of art, and in turn, a form of human expression. 
 What separates us from a common landscape designer is (hopefully) our ability to translate architecture into the landscape using our mediums. When it comes to vegetation, we have a wide array of shapes, forms, colors, and textures to choose from. 
 In hopes of hearing from practicing LAs, what has been your experience with this notion of using vegetation to express these ideas mentioned above, and how have you successfully (or not) accomplished this? Or, does anybody have any insight to bestow upon readers and myself a better sense of this idea that our creativity and designs are derived from a purposeful extension of the surrounding environment, and not simply an aesthetic landscape?”
ok, first off: who talks like this? Second, WHAT the fuck are you trying to say, son? So I clicked on his profile, curious where he was working, and you guessed it - student. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, is there anyone more insufferable than a landscape architecture student? I’d rather be locked in a room with two libertarians, a southern baptist, and an amateur sommelier than one landscape architecture student. Especially a male one. Something about that Y chromosome.
I think I’ve been able to filter through the fancy words and convoluted thoughts and what I’ve come up with is this: Junior thinks landscape architects are awesome because everything they do is imbued with art! and purpose! and stuff! There’s also something in there that talks about how landscape architects are waaaaay smarter than landscape designers because they know how to use plants and stuff.
Because I’m not an LA, and because I have to play nicey-nice for professional networking purposes, I didn’t want to respond there and start a flame war. That never ends well. Instead, I’ll post it here and tag it and I’m sure he’ll find it, because Junior seems like the type to punch the clown while looking at rendered drawings of municipal parks on Tumblr. Just a guess.
Dear Junior: first, as someone who has friends in the English department at a local college, I want to pass along their thanks that you didn’t pick their major. Here’s a hint. If you want people to be able to respond to your question, figure out how to string a paragraph together in a way that makes sense. And be succinct (that means brief).
Second, as a “common landscape designer” who has landscape architects working under him on an as-needed basis, fuck you, you pretentious fuck. You may succeed at school. You may do well at your internship. You may ace the LARE. All you’ve proven at this point is that you can check off the boxes that the establishment has created. You still have to get work designing, and then rock that work out so hard people can’t help but notice you. Guess what? That’s where people like me run circles around people like you, because while you were sitting there gazing at your navel and wondering if you were being too esoteric, we were selling and designing and building every goddamned day.
I would love to have you work for me as an (unpaid) intern for a summer, because you’d return to school a new man. Or you’d quit, crying, the first week, because I wouldn’t tell you what a special snowflake you are. Either way you might learn something.

I came across this gem in a forum for landscape architects:

"As Landscape Architects, we are faced with the task of designing an expression, or a feeling, or an idea, using the landscape as our medium. Whether we are to revamp a parking lot, design a corporate courtyard, line a downtown street with an allee, or beautify our own front and back yards, we are expressing a narrative. In fear of sounding too esoteric, I find it hard believe I could ever initiate a design without thinking about it first in terms of art, and in turn, a form of human expression.


What separates us from a common landscape designer is (hopefully) our ability to translate architecture into the landscape using our mediums. When it comes to vegetation, we have a wide array of shapes, forms, colors, and textures to choose from.


In hopes of hearing from practicing LAs, what has been your experience with this notion of using vegetation to express these ideas mentioned above, and how have you successfully (or not) accomplished this? Or, does anybody have any insight to bestow upon readers and myself a better sense of this idea that our creativity and designs are derived from a purposeful extension of the surrounding environment, and not simply an aesthetic landscape?”


ok, first off: who talks like this? Second, WHAT the fuck are you trying to say, son? So I clicked on his profile, curious where he was working, and you guessed it - student. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, is there anyone more insufferable than a landscape architecture student? I’d rather be locked in a room with two libertarians, a southern baptist, and an amateur sommelier than one landscape architecture student. Especially a male one. Something about that Y chromosome.


I think I’ve been able to filter through the fancy words and convoluted thoughts and what I’ve come up with is this: Junior thinks landscape architects are awesome because everything they do is imbued with art! and purpose! and stuff! There’s also something in there that talks about how landscape architects are waaaaay smarter than landscape designers because they know how to use plants and stuff.

Because I’m not an LA, and because I have to play nicey-nice for professional networking purposes, I didn’t want to respond there and start a flame war. That never ends well. Instead, I’ll post it here and tag it and I’m sure he’ll find it, because Junior seems like the type to punch the clown while looking at rendered drawings of municipal parks on Tumblr. Just a guess.

Dear Junior: first, as someone who has friends in the English department at a local college, I want to pass along their thanks that you didn’t pick their major. Here’s a hint. If you want people to be able to respond to your question, figure out how to string a paragraph together in a way that makes sense. And be succinct (that means brief).

Second, as a “common landscape designer” who has landscape architects working under him on an as-needed basis, fuck you, you pretentious fuck. You may succeed at school. You may do well at your internship. You may ace the LARE. All you’ve proven at this point is that you can check off the boxes that the establishment has created. You still have to get work designing, and then rock that work out so hard people can’t help but notice you. Guess what? That’s where people like me run circles around people like you, because while you were sitting there gazing at your navel and wondering if you were being too esoteric, we were selling and designing and building every goddamned day.

I would love to have you work for me as an (unpaid) intern for a summer, because you’d return to school a new man. Or you’d quit, crying, the first week, because I wouldn’t tell you what a special snowflake you are. Either way you might learn something.


OMG lady how high are you this morning????


"No one breathe on the seat wall!"

"No one breathe on the seat wall!"


landscapedesigning:

Old Refrigerator Repurposed To Patio Ice Chest!

landscapedesigning:

Old Refrigerator Repurposed To Patio Ice Chest!